We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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