You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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