but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
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You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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