Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize