I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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