And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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