She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
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when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
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He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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