i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize