I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
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She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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