chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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