The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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