the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
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I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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