1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize