you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize