I wish I could punch you in the face.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize