Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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