White coat. Heels.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize