So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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