Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
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He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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