Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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