How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
vagina is talking i cant
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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