someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
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the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
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He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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