Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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