Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize