The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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