that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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