just come out here and I will go home with you...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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