Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize