R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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