I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize