considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize