I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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