Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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