You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize