I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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