Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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