1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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