please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
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you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize