Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The air taste purple.
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