I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize