Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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