I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
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I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize