turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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