The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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