Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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