My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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