omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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