Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize