You work out of a Hotel?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm too high and old for this...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize