I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize